The year was 2006 and my roommate and I were watching a Fast and the Furious movie marathon in anticipation of Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift. Needless to say, from the very first time you meet Vin Diesel, aka Dominic Toretto, you want to be his friend. Actually, you want to be him. He's good with cars, has a sweet hipster pad in Echo Park, he's dating the only woman in the world who has a sexy resting bitch face, and he just oozes charisma and respect. At the time I was driving a Ford Focus that was not hooked up to NOS, I was living in Irvine, CA, and I was dating a woman with a very sweet resting face. I was NOTHING like Dom. Well, if you can't BE Vin Diesel you can at least ACT like Vin Diesel (editor's note: the words Dom and Vin Diesel will be used interchangeably in this short article. It is my belief that Vin Diesel isn't actually acting in the Fast and the Furious movies, he is instead part of a clever hidden camera system catching him reacting to staged events with other actors. Kind of like the Truman Show.)
How can you be like someone so effortlessly cool? One thing that helps? Corona. Take a journey with me:
Standing ovation. Fuck you, stupid guy not even playing real guitar in the corner of the party. You're the worst! Fuck you, Einstein, take it upstairs! Yeah I brought the Buster to the party, the Buster saved my ass from jail. Reward? Here's a CORONA.
As soon as I saw this I bought a six pack of Coronas and some limes from the grocery store down the street. I then offered one to my roommate with the same line Dom says to Paul Walker. My roommate laughed, I laughed. I thought to myself, I am becoming Vin Diesel.
Dom taught me that a Corona can defuse any situation, even if you offer it in a super aggressive way. There is so much foreshadowing related to this point in the Fast and the Furious. Check out all the intricate Corona details in the BBQ scene that occurs halfway through the movie:
:12-17: Who the fuck holds a grocery bag like that???
2:03-2:04: This guy is a dick and treats his Corona like shit. Spoiler alert, he dies in the movie because of this.
2:04: Vin Diesel is shocked but can't show his disdain, he is curious how Paul Walker responds to this Corona heresy.
2:07: Paul Walker takes a sensible sip. Order is restored. Vin Diesel now completely trusts Paul Walker.
Vin/Dom just exude charisma through the bottles of Corona they constantly drink in this movie series. It's a very important signifier for Vin/Dom's virility in the movie. Look at how the Director juxtaposes sexy side glances from babes vs the narrow, focus driven gaze of Vin/Dom as he orders his favorite drink at the bar:
This was a video from Fast and Furious 5, which proves that Vin/Dom and Paul Walker's relationship is based on Corona.
Another example from Fast and Furious 6. Dom and Paul and having a heart to heart on family, both new and old. What's the creative juice fueling this conversation? You guessed it, Corona!
The above picture breaks my heart, but it's necessary to show you that even Vin/Dom can make a mistake. He showed me how to have a good time, in the original Fast and Furious. He introduced me to the Corona lifestyle, the tao of LA BBQs, the essence of family/loyalty, and how you can judge someone based on how they sip a beer. I guess the point of all this is that I'm really looking forward to Fast and Furious 7.